My name's Dave. I'm working on it.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

4th Time Around

It was a good day to work on the summer mix. Work ended early, and the heat of the afternoon fit the music like a glove. Like it or not, the corresponding weather sometimes gives me the clarity I need to make structural decisions that nothing else could have. It has been difficult to work on this mix on rainy days.
But now, at last, it's done. The dragon is slain for another few months. I'm really beginning to consider retiring, at least temporarily, from the seasonal mix process. It's become more stressful than it's worth, and I'm running out of songs. Feeling a bit like Bilbo, stretched and thin, like butter spread over too much bread. I won't go into the root of this as I've covered it in past blogs, but I definitely think a break might do me some good.
Though I hate to stop when fall is next. I love fall. We'll just see how things go, shall we?
I appreciate the comments... I really do read them and take them to heart. Sometimes you can feel infinitely strong, never questioning the meaning of what you're doing; other times you're doubting your every step, and a kind word of encouragement makes a huge difference. Really. Thank you.
And so the days roll on. Summer approaches, and I escape into books and music. There are so many great books out there, and so little time. At the moment, I'm spending a good part of each day in the rainy, romantic streets of London in the early 1800s, where faeries hold masquerade-balls nightly and bewitch the high society. Where Napoleon Buonaparte is sent nightmares by magicians in the employ of his enemy, the English. Where the days of English Magic being a thing of antiquity are coming quickly to an end.
I love this book.
I realize that both of those links encourage you to buy things, but before you accuse me, at least consider that both of them are good businesses. Powell's needs no defense, and Gorey Details is based right here in Portland as well. They're nice people. And I like their stuff.
I am feeling happier these days than I have in some time. It's a strange feeling, not one I'm terribly at home in. I certainly resist it. But there is so much to smile about. I walk to Fred Meyer everyday, crossing over the I-84 freeway, watching the trucks gliding and listening to music and enjoying the feel of the sun against my skin. I read. I look at the people, and keep walking. The trip to Freddie's has become almost ritualistic. Sometimes I have it in mind to buy some cereal, or orange juice, but more often than not I'll simply wander until I find something I want, or grow weary of the search and head home again. It's a nice walk. What more justification could I need?
And now... well, now I have time. There's no way around it. And if I'm tired of anything, it's of making statements about what I have to do now. I know what I have to do. Making grandiose declamations of purpose is counterproductive.
So there. No moral, no resolution.
Keep on keepin' on.


  1. I feel you Dave... I myself have just completed the bulk of what I have left to do before I graduate... the painful part is over. Now, all that stand between me and that diploma are a few poems and one self-evaluation. Then, it's me and the impending sunshine and an armload of books (including yours once you are done with it). So, cemetary reading afternoon sometime soon? Before I have to think about the job I must acquire in order to pay rent this summer? Oh, I was so close...

  2. Powell's has to be one of my favorite places...I could spend days wandering around in there.