Happy New Year.
I know it probably seems as if I've gone radio silence once again - even my Twitter feed has been particularly quiet lately - and that I've again fallen off the proverbial wagon. The truth is, I've been writing almost every day since the amnesty; it's primarily involved timed writing practices and exercises in telling the truth, getting at the heart of things, etc. Basic stuff. It has naturally yielded a lot of terrible, scrawled pages in various notebooks; so while I've been producing a good amount, none of it has added up to much of anything worth sharing. So it goes.
The theme so far has been that of trying to replace old habits (ID tags: perfectionism, fear) with new ones (ID tags: truth, comfort with making terrible things as an inevitable part of the natural process). It is not an easy thing to do, but - lucky us - life offers constant opportunities to practice it. In the realm of writing, I've held to this by accepting the fact that what I have to say is much less polished (and definitely less insightful) than I'd like. No more blogs about resolve and revelation from me - I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, like everyone else - and I'm not gonna say otherwise anymore, as it would Not Be True.
Until I muster up the guts to share my terrible, unfinished writings with the big scary internet, consider this as a surrogate offering: For the past two weeks I have been recording my Friday night radio show and uploading it via Soundcloud for all to hear. It is live and unedited; if I am nervous or fuck up a transition, it is there on tape. The first portion of last night's show was lost due to an Audacity crash, and in a moment of doubt I considered re-creating the lost half with iTunes (as I'd done to make the pre-New Years show), but it felt wrong and contrary to the spirit of things. So there it stands, warts and all.
While I'm on the subject: I have officially begun my 2nd radio show, which is gearing towards nothing other than getting writing done. Consider yourself invited.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Happy New Year.