My name's Dave. I'm working on it.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Bad Dreams, Part Two

In my other blog, I recently wrote an entry describing a dream I had which was particularly clear and nightmarish. It was one of those rare dreams where I wonder if it might not be a dream, and ask if it's so. I had found myself sitting in the apartment of a girl I loved, who had told me we couldn't be together, and there we were, embracing. Maybe it was anxiety, but for whatever reason I felt that it was too good to be true, so in the dream I asked her if she were sure I wasn't just dreaming this happy ending. She looked at me and assured me I wasn't. And that was that. I gave in to happiness and then promptly woke up.
I have seen better mornings.
I looked at the dream with an almost amused sense of horror. My subconscious, or unconscious, or whichever part of me conspires nightly to fuck with my head, seems to keep finding new ways to push the envelope on what's possible. I laughed that it had gotten so blatant in its attempts.
Oh, little did I know it was just getting started.
Last night - perhaps an hour ago, really - the dream returned, a sequel to the first. Forgive me for attempting to transcribe this, I will try to make sense out of the dream logic so this will be somewhat readable. I think it was pretty straightforward.
This time around, she and I were both at work (for we used to work together), and one of my favorite customers (a driver for Radio Cab) offered to give us a ride around town while on our lunches. We got in his car and were off. The trip itself is sort of a blur, but when we returned to her place we again spoke of our feelings for one another, while Ghazi (the cabbie) hung around waiting to take us back to work. I told her I was sad; I wanted to be with her, she didn't feel the same. I'd dreamt it once, after all. She said again, but I do want to be with you....
And I swear to you, I asked for her to put it in writing this time. Ghazi laughed and I explained to her about the last time we'd had this conversation in dreams. So she deferred and put it in writing, signed, and handed me the paper. I took it, considered it, and then we embraced.
Then my alarm clock chimed.

1 comment:

  1. You sure there's no chance of getting back together with your ex? is it totally over? Might be worth one more try. If the answer is still no then at least your dreamself will get the point and stop hoping...